Bonolo's Balance: Life, Soccer & Stoicism

  Resistance makes one stronger. I even accuse myself of not being stoic enough sometimes. IT'S A continuous struggle. It's not like you wake up and you are stoic. For me, if it were not a struggle, it wouldn't be this admirable. Life is hard. Life is complicated. It’s full of choices. It’s full of dilemmas. It’s full of complex problems and confusing situations. It’s full of obstacles and opportunities. It’s full of grifters and liars and con artists and smooth talkers , as Marcus said. It’s also full of wonderful, fascinating, and incredible ideas and topics that you can’t possibly be “satisfied with ‘just getting the gist’ of….” In short, life is a thinking person’s game. That’s why the Stoics stressed the pursuit of wisdom. Because we need it. We need it right now. And we’ll need it later. We’ll need it when we face ethical dilemmas. We’ll need it when we’re weighing two life-changing opportunities. We’ll need it when we’re tested by frustration or fear. We need...

I was not always this awesome; it took one of the greatest decisions of my life three years ago: Becoming Stoic and embracing it fully. As much as the compass has four cardinal points (North: West: South: East), Stoicism also has four, which guided me swiftly to becoming this awesome being: Justice, Temperance, Wisdom and Courage. Because now I am awesome, I look back at the chaotic Un-Stoic me.  None of us is born unshakable, but through practice, reflection, and the discipline of reason, we learn to become unmoved by chaos. The Stoics would call this mastery of the self.  To live in this way is to recognise a fundamental distinction: what belongs to us and what does not. Marcus Aurelius reminds us, “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”   The Stoics often spoke of an inner citadel, a fortress no misfortune could breach. Such a citadel is not built in a day. It is raised brick by brick: in the morning, by prepari...

Aujourd’hui, le bonheur est comme un crime de droit commun – ne l’avouez jamais. Ne dites pas, sans penser du mal d’un génie, « je suis heureux », car immédiatement vous verrez autour de vos lèvres votre condamnation. »    If one finds themselves in a state of angst, they are responsible for it and for being in that state. As the Stoics have taught me, it is not what happens to me, but how I respond to it that matters. As Marcus Aurelius has said in his Meditations, 'Today I escaped the state of angst,' and then goes on to correct himself, saying, 'No, I discarded angst.' Like many people, I spent years trying to overcome and escape angst, but all I needed was a little apprenticeship. In December 2022, I already knew that to master something, I  have to learn from people who are further than me in that thing and have actually dealt with angst, ergo,  the Stoics. They have the knowledge of handling angst, ergo came the thought that entlek in stressful demand situation...

Friedrich Nietzsche famously declared, "To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." While not a Stoic himself, Nietzsche touches on a truth the Stoics embraced centuries earlier: suffering is part of life, but it need not define us. As a Stoic, I do not deny pain, loss, or misfortune. I  simply refuse to be ruled by it.  Epictetus, born into slavery and acquainted with hardship, taught that "It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." This echoes Nietzsche’s call to “find meaning” in suffering. But the Stoic doesn't search for meaning in external events — he finds it in the cultivation of virtue, in living with wisdom, courage, justice, and self-control. Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor burdened by war and personal loss, wrote in Meditations : "A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it." Here, suffering is not just endured — it is transformed....

To live Stoically is not to reject emotion; these are insights from Mr Mhlauli, whom I asked how being stoic has shaped him since 2022 This is what he had to say;...... ''One of the most common misconceptions when I tell people that I am a Stoic is that it's all about suppressing emotions, as if being a Stoic means becoming emotionally numb, robotic, or indifferent. But true Stoicism isn't about denying emotions, it's about mastering them. It teaches us not to be ruled by emotional turbulence, not to pretend feelings don’t exist. It helps me acknowledge the presence of emotions while emphasising the importance of managing them and not letting them control my actions or judgment. Stoicism, at its heart, acknowledges that it teaches us that while we feel, we don't have to be led by those feelings. It's about responding rather than reacting. So rather than bottling emotions, Stoicism helps me hold space for them, understand them, and then choose peace, wisdom...

 I t is my good luck that this happened to me, I can bear it without pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearful of the future, Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations. The first five months of this year didn’t unfold according to any plan I might’ve sketched. Uncertainties cropped up, plans derailed, and the unexpected became routine. But through all of it, two philosophical anchors steadied me: Amor Fati and Stoicism . The phrase ukhal'ak sizi  has never been so relevant. There is nothing to complain about. When you complain too much, everything becomes a potential complaint Amor Fati – Loving the Fate You Didn’t Choose “Not merely to bear what is necessary, still less to conceal it…but to love it.” – Nietzsche Amor Fati— love of fate —isn’t just acceptance. It’s choosing to see every event, even hardship, as necessary and good in its own right. It's the idea that what happens should happen because it did happen. That mindset reshaped how I approached challenges in...